Make me stronger

Make me stronger Lord for my soul is getting weak. The pain is eating me day by day. I fail as a mom I fail as a woman.

A lot of regrets, many what ifs.

What if I pursued the career I wanted, what of I didnt chose to be a housewife,what if I travelled. What if I go abroad. What if?

I envy those who have a best friend they can call or talk to anytime of the day, for I have no one, it sucks that I don’t have a friend who is one chat away.. I pity myself cause the friends I once have no longer think of me or invited me for get together how I really wish they would. My heart breaks as I saw their fb page having that pics together. So the stress and pain in my life right now is all I have.

I failed as a wife. My husband nags me more than I nag him and question where my salary goes when it’s all written down in my organizer. I didn’t even bother asking where his salary goes he didn’t give it all he jus give 1000, Lord what am I going to do with 1000 pesos for 2 weekS. I earned more than my hubby does so basically I pay for everything, electricity, internet,school fees, groceries and others but I’m still being questioned where my salary goes( Lord tabang).

i failed as a mother. My own daughter has no respect over me. She yells at me called mi “buang” in front of so many. Doesn’t bother if she hurts my feelings or not. I tried to.give her everything I can to.provide but if I refused or argue with it, I ended up I’m at fault. Lord have mercy. I can’t stand it anymore.

My own mother even mocks me for how I raised my children.. Lord I really tried to be the best that I can be, to give all that I can give. I working 8 hours straight graveyard shift for 3 yrs, then do house chores and send my little one to school after which give me 3-4 hours of sleep everyday. Asa man ko mulugar Lord.

My body aches for one complete good sleep, my heart yearns for console, my mind needs rest. Gusto na nako magbreakdown Lord. Tabangi ko…